Women are simultaneously the most wonderful and most annoying entities to walk the planet. ACT I: DON’T BE SAM ROTHSTEIN, BUT DON’T BE LESTER EITHER. “I spent almost $1,000 on this girl for her birthday just for her to bitch about a fucking uber.” Kid, I’ve been there and felt that. Long ago, my best friend […]
Read more "Making Sense of Women, Part 12,380"Sometime back in 2015, my girlfriend Chunky and I took a break from one another. She obviously wanted to go and hoe, which was understandable and I was prematurely invested. I let her go and of course after less than a week in the jungle, she wanted to come back around. Inherently, being the asshole that […]
Read more "Hot Pocket"I’m a pimp by blood, not relation. Before everyone reacts, I say that in the most humble and mild way possible. Did you miss me? Let me explain. I literally come from a long lineage of Players and Pimps. The pimps being My maternal Great-Grandfather, two great Uncles, Tiny and Boot (RIP), My paternal Grandfather, […]
Read more "The Truth About These Hoes: A Conversation With A Retired Pimp"Listen. I understand that you’ve been on Facetime until your arm goes numb with this person. I understand that the two of you have been talking into the wee-hours of the morning and fighting over who’s going to hang up first every night for the last month. I know that this person seems different than […]
Read more "FLY OUT RULES"DISCLAIMER: YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO SEX. This article is the sequel to FIRST DATE WINNER. Dating is just like basketball and home ownership. The most difficult part of the entire process is closing. JANUARY 2017. You just had a spectacular date with a stunning woman. The energy and ambiance were wonderful, you two ended […]
Read more "How to Close at Home."Happy New Year. Dating is a crapshoot, baby. By the end of the night you could be blocked, reported, left on read, or waist deep in the yams thinking about baby names. It all depends on the energy and how well you play your cards. You never get a second chance to make a first […]
Read more "First Date Winner"When I was a young lion cub, my father told me that sex would make me weak. That it would incapacitate me if I let it. Make me jaded… Influence my decision-making and make me susceptible to manipulation. As a youth I didn’t realize what he meant, but my entire world flipped when I got […]
Read more "All P*ssy is Not Created Equal"