Late Night stream of consciousness


“Stop trying to be the man and be the man.”

Easily some of the best advice that my father has given me in my 24 years of life. He told me that when I was 16. Ever so often as young men we want the glory so early but haven’t even earned it yet. The recognition and eternal greatness, the legacy, the respect. Things that you can’t fake. Everyday I see my fellow young men fail miserably or pacify themselves by trying to be “that nigga” opposed to taking the necessary steps to do so. Being the man isn’t an easy task and it comes with a price. But is it worth it? Absolutely. Instant gratification gets a lot of human beings in tight situations, especially young, black male humans. The desire to be recognized, revered and adored will drive you to do dishonorable things. The key is to maintain ones morality while being successful.

Easier said than done.

Truly being the man takes time and work. You have to be an all around asset. Able to function in any setting and while under pressure. Having your shit together, being recognized as a reliable, honest person. Don’t fake the funk my nigga, take the steps to be who you want to be. See, personally.. I know exactly the life I want. I want to be respected and adored not only in the creative community, but in the black community as well. I want to make racist white people uncomfortable. I want to inspire black people to live under black approval. I want to come home to a nice home, in a luxury car, kiss my wife in the mouth and dance around my living room with the children I made. I want my friends and family to be stable and happy for the sake of my soul. I think about this shit every day. I think about my quest for international greatness every day. Every single day.

I often think that the term “real nigga” is misinterpreted by the ignorant. In the mind of the uneducated a real nigga is a drug dealer, murderer or thief. In my eyes being a real nigga isn’t equivalent to being a street nigga, but rather to being a stand up guy. He’s a winner, a champion. “Dependable as Jordan in the 4th, he’s a real nigga.”

Someone once told me that I have an impenetrable wall of arrogance that I parade around with as a shield to protect my feelings. She couldn’t have been more right. The male ego is directly linked to the male emotion. Humans are emotional creatures by nature and even though I think women are more emotional, I think that the man is more emotional than we come off. As a boy you’re taught to manage your emotions. Mind over matter, intellect over emotion, etc. As little boys and teens we are balls of emotion. Whether is rage or hurt or happiness, it’s there. I’ve concluded that the bigger the ego, the bigger the heart. A man has so much ego because he has so much love to give and he’s been abused before and he must protect himself. And even if he hasn’t been hurt yet, the ego is a reflection of how good a man thinks he is. “I walk around like this because I will take care of you better than any nigga and treat you better and I KNOW IT. So, love me.”

I don’t know, readers. This is the shit that’s on my mind. Writing is such a better outlet than tweeting. Tweets don’t win awards, but maybe some of these words will, Idk. Thanks Dante and Patricia for encouraging to write words.

My good friend and business parter Ed who I met 5 years ago wants the power. He wants the money and the power. He’s brilliant and focused, consistently makes me elevate myself. I want the money, but more than the money? I want the glory. I want the money and the glory and the legacy. I hope what I have brewing inside of me is as good as it think it is. If not? Fuck it. I tried.

God created you and me from the same thing as the water, the stars, the moon and gold. Think of the greatest person, place or thing that you can think of and realize that you share the same matter as that. I think that God leaves a piece of himself in us and it’s our job to find that piece and harness it. I think super talented people tap into the piece that God left in them and become engulfed in it. Just a theory.

Anyway kids,

Swing for the fences. Shoot for the nebula. Don’t let anyone dim your light.

I’ll post the ending to my crazy ex story on Tuesday. Until next time.


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