Human beings are self-serving narcissists by nature. Self preservation, survival of the fittest, ME ME ME are what we’re all inclined to know until taught otherwise. Even when we mature and have families, some of us still stick to our primal instincts and say “I have to take care of me and mine,” as if there is no obligation to make the world a better place. Children don’t share toys, millionaires on Wall Street cut their “friends” out of lucrative deals and women will marry a man that they don’t even like all for the sake of appeasing oneself.
This is why love is the single most interesting feeling in all of human interaction, because it makes absolutely no sense.
Being in love is possibly the most jubilant feeling that a person can feel. Whether it’s loving a newborn child, a parent or another person, it feels amazing. Particularly dealing with a member of the opposite sex, being in love is raw. Being able to let down the guards that we all have and become a complete and utter mess with another person is a beautiful thing. It’s dangerous, unsettling and exciting. The smallest things that they do can make your day. A text, a letter packed in your lunch, a surprise pop up at your job. You think about her all day, you know? Sometimes your only serenity is seeing her name come across your phone or thinking about coming home to her. You put your ego to the side and trust her with your heart and your deepest secrets under the impression that she’s the one. You feel so strongly for another person that you stop considering yourself first and you think about them. “How is this going to make her feel? What would she like? How can I be better for her? She wouldn’t like if I did this.” You find yourself compromising for this person. Even putting your own needs aside and ignoring your natural human instinct to take care of self first as you take care of another. It changes you in your actions and your words. You start to say “us” and “we” instead of I. You share a home with this person, your souls become intertwined, you lock in on the same frequency. You finish each others sentences, you can feel what she’s feeling, you could be a million miles away and know something is wrong. You travel together, you laugh, eat and have sex in tropical locations, you make memories. You meet families and share holidays and see things together. Share moments and precious time that you can’t ever get back.
And then it’s all over.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and everything seems to come to light. You wonder how you could ever be into a person and feel so strongly when the feelings weren’t reciprocated. You attempt to apply rationale to an irrational situation, and it doesn’t work. The smallest things send you into a whirlwind of emotions and memories. Whether it be a certain smell, sight, sound or feeling, everything reminds you of that person. What we have to understand is that someone in the relationship will always be more selfish. The rules of manipulation state that “The person who cares the least about the relationship is the one who’s in control.” So even if you know that love goes against the emotional laws of human nature, someone’s self preservation always kicks in. There is no person more selfish than the one who gets in a relationship knowing that they can’t reciprocate the energy and emotion that you give them.
Sometimes you just take a loss and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Nothing hurts like the pain that we get from love, that’s how I know it’s truly one of the greatest things on earth. Why does losing a close family member or friend to death hurt more than the feeling of jubilance from all the good times you had together? Because you love them. Why does the hurt from missing out on money outweigh all the money that you’ve come across? Because you love the way it makes you feel. Why does a breakup with a person you were in love with hurt so much that you forget the thousands of happy memories? Because you loved them so much. Don’t love a person that doesn’t love you just as much. And if you do take that road, protect yourself.