The Art Of Sex

Happy Friday, readers!

I would like to welcome you all to another spectacular installment of “A Life of Friday Nights, hosted by me, Malcolm the King himself.

GQ Magazine and Men’s Health aren’t going to give you the real, raw truth like I am because they CANT. See they’re nationally printed magazines who have censors and guidelines and restrictions.

Fuck all that.

I on the other hand am I champion with a website that I run and edit. I don’t just write, I recollect. So who’s gonna check me?


Now that I’m done flaunting my bravado, I can address the real topic.


Sex is beautiful. Sex is an art form. It allows you to be savage and primal. To tap into the deepest, darkest most primitive aspect of human nature.

Sex is one of the greatest forms of self expression, but reaching maximum pleasure differs between genders.

When it comes to us reaching climax for us men, its a sprint. A few pumps in some pink velvet, a minute in some premium mouth and before you know it, you’re wiping man chowder off your woman.

But for women? It’s a gradual incline. Climax is a jog through the park in the spring. a consistent buildup, a hike up stone mountain on a beautiful day.

Making her cum is going to be work, but it’s a beautiful journey and well worth it. The satisfaction and the power that you feel are only matched by the look that she gives you after she descends from euphoria.

Unlike you lucky bastards who have me, I had to learn from trial and error. So, as a certified pipe layer I proudly present to you,

The Art of Sex.

First things foremost, you have to be physically prepared to fuck well. If you don’t exercise or perform some sort of physical labor on a weekly basis, you should start.

Stamina and blood flow play a pivotal part in throwing good dick. In order to survive the triathlon that pleasuring a woman is, you need to be conditioned and be able to maintain an erection.

Hydrate, eat good foods, take vitamins and stay away from cigarettes.

In addition to the aforementioned, you should perform particular exercises in order to strengthen your sex organ.

Just like women do kegels, we can too. There’s a muscle that we’re all familiar with as men. Then muscle that you squeeze to make your manhood jump? That one.

That is your pelvic floor. You need to squeeze and release this muscle every day. Pay attention to your own body! The stronger your pelvic floor is, the more intense and long lasting your erections are.


Quick side note. I shouldn’t have to tell grown men to be hygienic, but I will anyway. Please don’t try to have sex while you smell like a yak. Make sure your pubes are trimmed and your dick and balls are BALD.

You will get your soul sucked out because you were considerate enough to trim up.

Trust me on this.

Now, my next point.

You have to know your woman and if you don’t, you better fucking learn.

See how she responds to certain stimuli and behave accordingly. You have to pay attention!

Here’s an example.

Let’s say you’re stroking, and she moans extra passionately when you hit a certain spot.

Don’t pound that spot, dickhead.

Keep doing exactly what you’re doing at a rhythmic pace, but be more passionate with every stroke.

I guarantee she’ll lose her shit.

Despite what the pornos show, not every woman wants to be pounded on for 45 minutes. And even if they do, the vagina can only take so much abuse.

You have to find your stroke and stick with it. Making women reach climax is all about consistency and rhythm.

The average man takes 3 minutes to reach climax. The average woman? 12 minutes. These facts alone should influence you to listen to what the fuck I’m saying.

Can you dig it?

Learn to multitask. God gave you a dick, two hands and a mouth. Put them all to work!

Women are such amazing creatures that there’s just so much to lick and touch and bite. Grab her neck, suck her toes, talk cash money shit in her ear.

I personally don’t have too many boundaries when it comes to pleasing my woman. I eat ass, suck toes, spit in mouths, tie her up, etc.

It’s all about what you two are into. You should never judge a man for how he pleases his woman.

Not judging brings me to my next few points, I’m almost done, I promise.

We’re all dick beaters here, It’s fine, no judgment, I understand, but keep that shit to a minimum.

Everytime you jack off, you’re losing a ton of testosterone. Testosterone that you’re going to need in order to dominate in life and in the bedroom.

If you don’t masturbate for 7 days, your testosterone increases by 45.9 percent. That’s damn near half.

Gentlemen, don’t jerk all your testosterone away. Only if it’s completely necessary and you can’t take it anymore. Don’t jack off as a pass time.

Alright ladies and gentlemen, my final point.

If you read my blog it’s a 90% chance that you’re a black man. If you’re a black man there’s 100% that your expected to have a 13 inch dick.

Dog, if you don’t, it’s okay.

Good sex is about skill, passion and attraction. If you’re slinging a two by four in addition to that, then you’re a legend. If you’re slinging half a ruler, that’s fine too.

Confidence. Be confident in your abilities and your physique. You’re only inadequate if you believe you are.

Take care of your body, be clean, be attentive, learn your woman and maintain confidence.

Nothing will stop you.

The Art of Eating Pussy coming soon.

Until next Friday.


– Malcolm the King

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