Space Age Pimpin

Hello ladies and gentlemen, savages and sluts. Welcome back to your weekly installment of A Life of Friday Nights, hosted by the handsome, healthy, hardworking.. ME! 

A week or two ago, a friend, his homeboy and I graced a local Atlanta strip club with our presence and something in particular stood out to me. 

In a cool, dark room full of mirrors and naked women, my good friend was getting a lap dance from a yellow woman who happened to be thicker than wet concrete. I had a dancer on my lap, presumably whispering cash money shit in her ear, but the third guy.. The third guy was on some weird shit. The sequence went as follows:

Dancer: Hey honey. You want a dance? 

Guy: Nah. You got IG? Can I have that? 

Nigga what? 

It was fucking mind blowing. 

Why do you need her Instagram when she’s standing in front of you? 

Shorty is offering to dance on you, naked and you ask her for what?

It happened again, and again. Every dancer or sever that walked by, he asked them for their Instagram. He even tapped shorty who was resting on my lap every so softly and asked for her IG. 

The following photos are a representation of my facial expression in that moment. 





I couldn’t wrap my mind around the situation. In that instance, why would you ask a woman for a link to social media when she’s literally a foot away from you? 

The answer?

“I’m just better on the Internet.”

That sentence sparked a forest fire worth of thoughts in this brain of mine. It made me take a step back and take things into perspective. As I thought, I started to take notes in my phone to form this very article. I wrote and drank so I could piece all this shit together, then it finally hit me. 

The Internet has created a new way for men to obtain quality women, but several of us have fallen into the trap of ONLY Internet macking, because it’s remarkably easy. 

The Internet gives us access to millions of women on a daily basis. Let’s take my Twitter into account. 

I follow 1,069 people with a following of 2,262. Over 70% of those I follow and those who follow me are women. At any time during the day, I can interact, shoot my shot and have a number within 30 minutes of conversation. 

We all know how vast and complex the Internet is so I don’t have to explain that, But for the record understand that there are 974 million fucking twitter users. You could DM .0000002 percent of those users and still be dealing with 200 women. 

It’s easy! It’s easy to talk to a woman when you aren’t face to face. It’s easy to say some cool shit after you’ve studied a person by following them for weeks then attacking. It’s easy to be confident in an inbox. It’s easy to type “Hello, I think you’re very pretty.” 

What about being on the spot? What are you going to do when you see the possible love of your life gracefully strolling down Peachtree? Are you going to run up to her and ask her for her Instagram, or are you going to be a fucking man and shoot your shot? 

Like Big Sean’s father said:

” Life is a feeling process.”

A woman can feel your confidence. She looks for small things.. The eye contact. The hand movement, posture. Even the head tilt. 

Don’t let social media and the Internet emasculate you. It should be a part of your game, not the base of it.

 I remember being thrown into the fire as a teenager. My homies and I would get dressed up, catch the bus or train to the mall and just talk to girls. One of the reasons we don’t have trouble now is because we all learned how to deal with rejection early. 

Rejection is a part of the game, and a lot of niggas rather deal with women on the Internet because you can just delete rejection. Or because rejection occurs subtly with a swipe left, blank response or an unfollow. 

In addition to the aforementioned, when you get rejected on the Internet, you can literally see the other thousands of women available and it doesnt sting as bad. The funny thing is, those same women on the Internet are the exact same women in real life. 

Moral of the story? Don’t let social media cripple you into being antisocial in real social settings. Enjoy yourself. Don’t be the guy at the strip club, house party or bar asking girls for their Instagram. 

And if you talk to a chick the old fashioned way and she gives you and email or social media link? 



I’m telling a story on Friday! 

See you guys then. 

Until next time

– King Malcolm 

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