Good Afternoon Winners and Winettes. Welcome back to another installment of “A Life of Friday Nights” Hosted by the illustrious, critically acclaimed, well fed and well bred, King Malcolm himself.
Third person is fun, isn’t it?
I’m writing this article because a friend of mine named Cole from Brooklyn, recently asked me about some good local food to eat. He’s from NYC, so ya’ll know he’s used to Rat Fried Rice, Pizza and curry chicken patties, so it’s MY job to steer him in the right direction.
For those of you who have never met me in real life, please understand that I am not a small man. I played football, boxed light heavyweight, wrestled and ate a HOLE in several refrigerators for the majority of my life.
I can’t even begin to explain how much I love food. I adore food. I like beef patties more than I like the average human being, and I like people so that’s saying something. In my travels, I have yet to visit cities that offer such well rounded food options as Atlanta. NYC, LA, Chicago and New Orleans are all awesome, but they don’t have the same SOUL that we have here in the A.
So, because I’m America’s favorite fat boy and I didn’t attain this physique by NOT eating, here are a few of my favorite Atlanta Restaurants.
1. Fellini’s Pizza
The pizza at this spot is so damn good I’m sure that the cooks don’t speak a lick of fucking English. They have the cool, hipster white girls working the registers and they’re always amicable. Good ass pizza, decent beer prices with a bunch of shit on tap, and a nice outdoor patio? You can’t lose.
Kings Choice: 2 Slices. Extra Cheese, Peppers, Onions, Meatball and Garlic. Pitcher of Blue Moon. Golden Monkey for the homies. What’s up Wiz, Juice and AJ.
2. La Fonda Latina
An exceptionally well rounded Latin experience. Wherever there’s a Fellini’s, La Fonda isn’t far away. These niggas have Margaritas, Flan, Tacos, Nachos, Cuban Sandwiches, and Paella. Their drinks will put you flat on your ass and the Migos offer customer service that rivals that of Chick Fil A.
Kings Choice: Jalapeño Queso, Cuban Reuben, Rice + Beans, 2 Texas Margaritas.
3. Delia’s Chicken Sausage Stand
As a non pork eater, it’s very difficult for me to find decent EVERYBODY SAY SAUSAGE KEEP IT GO.. Sorry about that outburst. Decent sausage at restaurants in general, especially in the south. Delia’s is hands down one of my favorite places. They have chicken sausage in several variations, including a philly, sliders and wonderful hot-dog style.
With a plethora of toppings, it’s practically impossible to get bored. They serve potato wedges with this cheese sauce that the Good Lord himself created right after he made water. The cheese sauce is of heaven.
They don’t have alcohol, but their frozen Sweet tea or Strawberry lemonade are fucking AWESOME. On the dessert tip they have a red velvet milkshake. With real chunks of cake in it, for optimal fatness.
Speaking of fatness, they have a chicken sausage slider with strawberry cream cheese on a toasted Krispy Kreme doughnut. Yes I’ve tried it, and it’s delicious.
From the house made BBQ sauce all the way to the quality of the meat, Delia’s is A PLUS food, AND they don’t close on the weekends.
Kings Choice: “Sloppy Sliders” potato wedges with Heavenly cheese sauce and a frozen sweet tea.
4. Mr. Everything
In the HEART of the west end lies one of Atlanta’s gems. This black owned, black ass, black people restaurant is one of a kind. It’s like, Ebony Chipotle. They literally give you a pile of well seasoned meat, vegetables and cheese over your choice of rice.
They have freshly sliced deli meats for sandwiches, and the thing that makes a black establishment, CAKE!
I love this place. Please Patronize them.
King’s Choice: Mr. Everything Super Deluxe, Slice of Red Velvet Cake.
5. Conch Muthafuckin City
Yeah, all my Eastside homies and Twitter followers thought that I was gonna leave this out. WRONG. I saved the absolute best and the closest to home for last.
With fresh fish and Conch coming in from Savannah on a daily basis, This place is my favorite local seafood spot in Atlanta.
They have damn near everything seafood related you can think of. The meat can be grilled, fried or sautéed and it’s all done exceptionally. The meat is well seasoned, and the sides are even better.
They have a plethora of sauces to choose from, plus a home made sauce for wings! They even have a low crab boil complete with corn, potato and beef or turkey sausage. Salaams to the ahki’s!
From Lobster Mac, to Crab Rice (Whatup Mikey) to Conch Salad, to fried lobster and vegetables, Conch City is amazing all around.
I’m in the Conch so much, I’m on a first name basis. They know my regular order and everything. Sometimes I like to sit outside and eat their shrimp until I get a headache. The customer service is wonderful. They’re Black owned and proud. Main chef has a mouth full of platinum and he fucking cooks like it.
King’s Usual: Tilapia and Shrimp over crab rice, side of Lobster Mac and a slice of Red Velvet.
King’s #2: Shrimp, Chicken and Crab Alfredo with Broccoli, Garlic Toast and a house Lemonade.
King’s #3: See Menu
So ATLiens, imports and those thinking about visiting, here’s a guide for you. I love these places, and if you go in, please be a champion and show them this so I can get free food.
Fortune Favors the Bold!
– King Malcolm, America’s Favorite Fat Boy.