In Life, nothing happens without a plan. Even if the plan tanks and an outside influence guides you to your goal, chances are that the aforementioned influence arose because your plan had you in the right place at the right time. Shit, even winging it and playing it by ear are technically plans!
Luck favors the prepared.
One day while sitting in a meeting between football practices I heard my head coach say something that stuck with me to this day:
You have to will your way to victory. There are two types of men in this world. Men who make it happen and men who watch it happen. Be on the field or cheer from the stands.
In life, you always want to be the man who makes it happen.
Gentlemen, the golden time of the year is upon us. Fucking right, I’m talking about summertime. The women are out in abundance, scantily clad and single. The weather is warm, the drinks are cold and the skies are clear. The children are running amuck in the street and shit, throwing water balloons and eating ALL the ice cream. It’s wonderful!
Are you going to stand on the sideline and let another summer pass you by as you suffer at your weak ass job? Fuck no! It’s up to you to maximize your summer fun by developing a plan and willing your way to victory!
Good summers are manufactured. There are interchangeable pieces and parts to a man and in order to have a spectacular summer, you need to satisfy the five parts of a man:
I understand that some of these will overlap, but don’t be an asshole. Bear with me.
In a quest for an awesome summer, one of the first things you should do is expand your mental. Try reading a new book, blog or learning to cook a new dish. Binge watch a show that you’ve been hearing about or research a conspiracy theory.
Indulge in a new trade! I recommend that all men learn to play chess. It’s a beautiful game that will increase intellect, general wherewithal and decision making after just a few games. Jet ski off the coast of an island, travel to a different country, anything to contribute to making you a more international man.
Your intellect needs to be fed. Life is a learning process and you have to think your way through. Don’t take your mind for granted.
No matter your chakra or star sign, how deep you are or pretend to be, the truth is that flesh is here, real and weak as fuck.
Gentlemen, we have to do a better job of taking care of ourselves. I know you have an immortality factor my nigga, I understand, but take your ass to the doctor. Get a checkup, get that blood pressure looked at. Try and exercise 3 times a week and consume truckloads of water. Add more fruits, vegetables and supplements to that diet. You’ll see an improvement in your sex game and mood.
I’ve been taking Maca Root tablets and last week I almost fucked through my floor. When I started, I had “The Wolf Of Wall Street” playing and Jordan was being introduced. By the time I finished fucking, Jordan was going to jail.
Proper hair and skin care are vital to the grown man glow. I use African black soap on my face and beard followed by some pure aloe Vera and almighty coconut oil. Speaking of coconut oil, don’t use too much of it during the summer. If you oil up too much the sun will hit you and everyone will wonder why they’re smelling Samoas.
“Nigga you got on Girl Scout cookie cologne?”
Ease back on the delicious, spectacular (but extremely unhealthy) fried and fatty foods. Heat and grease don’t mix, and the last thing you want is to be clogged up or have bad skin in the summertime. Also, you’re going to consume an abundance of alcohol this Summer, so do it the right way. Try to stay away from cocktails if possible. The average mixed drink has 450-700 fucking calories. Fuck that, all that juice and pop mixed with liquor is a no go.
I suggest you drink your spirit of choice over the rocks with a lemon or lime. It gets the job done with a fraction of the calories. Lastly, rotate water with your drinks all night. You find yourself pissing out clear, grab a water.
Who wants to be hungover on a summer day? That shit is the worst.
Me, trying to get in the car, hungover on a summer day.
Gentlemen, the inner savage comes alive year round, but he’s at his peak in the summertime. You’re going to have to balance out all the sinning you’re going to do and counteract the monster that lives inside of you. Take ten minutes out of your day to close your eyes and meditate. Turn off your phone, no music, no TV, nothing. Visualize your day being amazing and radiate positive energy, it’ll enhance your life.
Take out some time to do community service or be a mentor. Coach a sport that you’re skilled at to keep some youth out of the streets. Whatever your religious or spiritual preference may be, stick close to it. Don’t let the world take your head away from your spirit. Feed your soul and always remember, when you do good, good comes back to you.
Remember that savage I was talking about earlier? Listen. Don’t fuck up something good because of temptation. Take it from me. If you have a woman, make the best out of your summer with her. Take her ass to water parks and go kart racing. Take her out of the country, hit a Braves game with her. Flourish together. Grab a fly ass hotel on a Saturday night and eat her pussy with the lights off and the city in the background. Be adventurous!
If you’re a single savage, enjoy this time of the year to the best of your capability. In the fine words of my grandfather, “sew your oats, but wear a hat!” Try and finagle a threesome. Have a one night stand or two, fuck a stripper on your pool table! Enjoy your youth because you’re only young once.
Be honest with these women, fellas. The truth will set you free. Even if their feelings are hurt, they will respect you as a man for keeping it 100 with them. If you have to tell a necessary lie always remember the #1 and 2 rules of cheating..
DONT GET CAUGHT.
DIE WITH THE LIE.
Every man has an ego, no matter what they say. Some are quiet and modest like a Barack Obama, others are Loud and flamboyant like a Muhammad Ali. You have an ego to feed, and the summer is the best time to indulge.
Spend some fucking money on yourself. You work extremely hard, but who’s taking care of #1? Get a new stereo system for the house or put some rims on your car. Get your haircut weekly opposed to every other Friday. Get a weekly car wash or try some new cologne. Buy an expensive pair of sunglasses for once! Acquire manageable debt in exchange for happiness.
Buy a bigger TV or a piece of jewelry. Spend some money on exciting events so you’ll have stories to tell. Front row seats at a concert or skydiving. Parasailing off the coast of Florida, riding a dirt bike through the favela!
The year is 2015, and isn’t it a grand time to be alive? The music and movies we grew up listening to and watching are now classics. The Internet has the world moving a mile a minute with all these different cultures and ideals crashing into each other. There are literally a million things to do, but they will absolutely not fall in your lap.
That woman you want, that concert you want to rage at, that car with the leather seats, that jumpshot you want to polish and one of the best summers of your life are all in your grasp. Stop trying to be the man and simply be the man.
Luck favors the prepared and fortune favors the bold. Go get that dope ass summer.