Groupchats Are For Bitches. 

Hypercritical, Problematic! Don’t you just love drama? 

When I say drama I don’t mean comedy-drama, romantic-drama or theatre. I mean the unadulterated, New Oxford American dictionary drama, which is as follows.

Drama: An exciting, emotional or unexpected series of events or circumstances. 

Exciting

 As human beings we are so obsessed with drama that we pay good money and monthly Internet and cable fees to indulge in it. It feels so good to go and see someone’s else’s problems and watch them handle misfortune. This doesn’t only apply to film but to life as well. 

Whenever some mess hits the timeline people far and wide are scrolling, liking and favoriting trying to see what “the wire” is talking about. Trying to see who said or did what. 

In this day and age of information, men have become entirely too comfortable chatting about the business of not only other men, but women as well. The culture of “holding it down” seems to be a fleeting one and I think it’s due to how fast information is moving. 

Growing up with a young father (17 year difference) benefitted me in seeing how young men move very early on. I observed my pops and his close friends talk about a whole lot behind closed doors, but they always had the gall and guts to not only say it to the person’s face, but never let it leave the circle. 

When an outsider approached, the answer was simple. 

“I don’t even know what you talking about.” 

I think a major contributing factor to the male gossip epidemic is social media. 

All Internet friendships are not good. Developing these quick bonds over mutual interests and jokes have watered down the potency of true camaraderie. As a result, you think that you can trust these people more than you actually should. I was once In a group message with some niggas who were cool, but only two of them were real. 

Unbeknownst to me, I was getting laughed at behind my back. There’s nothing worse than thinking that you’re pouring your problems into a dam when it’s really full of cracks. 

 It’s Easy to be messy! 

As a man you should naturally hold water. The characteristics that separate us from women are the ones that they admire most. Stability, consistency, focus and honor. 

I think that as a man, If you are in a group chat it should be for a specific reason. If the conversation ever starts to go left you say something to exonerate yourself or remove yourself from the mess. 

“I don’t know that man, that ain’t none of my business.” 

But Honestly, what’s the difference between a conversation and gossip? As men We can only talk about sports, rap, chicken and power tools? A major thought is that Maybe women don’t want us talking in group chats because they don’t want bad deeds out in the streets. They view them as a threat. 

An oldhead once told me that women hate cats because they don’t want anyone or anything more sneaky than they are in the house. No one likes to get caught up and held accountable for their actions, especially women. 

See, everyone wants their reputation protected, which is understandable, but YOUR behavior being discussed In a Groupchat doesn’t invalidate how heinous your actions were. Sometimes we do less than honorable things, praying they never come to light, and they do. It just happens that in 2016, news of heinous acts spread faster than light. 

No good will come from laughing at the misfortune of others. If you really about that, laugh in their face or comment on sight, because talking behind a person’s back is weak. 

Now I know there’s a chat of women out there that’s discussed my sex game. I know that there are a few blue or grey bubbles from niggas about my love life. I couldn’t care less about what was being said, or who said it. When you’re in the business I’m in, there’s no such things as bad publicity. What matters the most is that I’m being talked about..

And that you read this article. 

Until Next Wave

International Malcolm and Danyale Y. Neal 

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