The South Carolina Story. 

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I need no introduction, but guess what? 

It’s story time. 

In my single man conquests, I acquired the information from this beautiful young lady via social media. She was absolutely gorgeous and my type. Almond eyes, beautiful smile, full pouty lips.  5’9″, 165 pounds, skin like Nutella. She was all ass, breasts, hips and lips. Certified country stallion with strong family values, her own money and admirable intellect. Things as always, were looking up. 

Naturally, we click and the stars were seemingly aligning for me once again. Conversation was flowing and flirting was abundant. We FaceTimed every night and  nudes were being exchanged. Wonderful nudes. Filthy, selfie Stick nudes. All of our kinks and sexual desires were in alignment. Her upbringing and lack of experience with witty men from the inner city had her all over me, which was doing wonders for my ego. Things were going great. 

The only foreseeable issue was the fact that she lived in South Carolina, and I lived in Atlanta. Even though the drive was only 3 hours, long distance relationships are tough and I saw myself possibly being with her. 

One day, the day of my little brothers’ Nike combine, as a matter of fact I decided to shoot out to South Carolina and kick it with her. I ran the idea past her and She thought that was the cutest shit ever and felt so special, so she obliged. I dropped little bro off, went home and got fresh, plugged in Apple Music and hit the road. 

Right before I got on the road she text me:

“You aren’t coming out here just for sex are you? Like, you aren’t expecting anything, right?” 

I should’ve turned the Fucking car around and went home right then, but I didn’t. I should’ve recognized a lack of maturity, but I’m a hardheaded idiot, and I deserve everything that happens to me when I don’t listen. I had no expectations and was just going out there to vibe, so I relayed that information to her, she accepted. 

Her: “Okay cool. See you soon. 😘”

I get to Columbia and as soon as she got out the car, I couldn’t believe how fine she was. Pictures didn’t do her justice. She had on this olive green shirt and the titties sat up like the president had just walked in. She hugged me like we had been dating for 6 months. Buried her face in my neck and didn’t flinch when I palmed all that ass. I just knew that my night was about to be lit. 

We parked her whip in the student lot and hopped in my car so we both wouldn’t have to pay for parking. The downtown area was decent for such a small city. All the Caucasians made me uncomfortable, but I found a way to deal.  We got into the restaurant and the conversation was just beautiful. Sports, politics, hair and skin care, black films and quotes. I thought it was so dope that we could connect on that level talking about practically nothing. 

She didn’t drink, but I had some liquor in me and I’m already a bold nigga. Soon as we get in the car, I make a move and get it cracking. We were in there fooling around and slobbing all over each other like a couple of high schoolers in a slasher flick. 

She lustfully looks me dead in my eyes like Nala in the “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” scene in the Lion King and says 

“Pull around to the empty lot by my car.” 

I played it cool, but in my mind I was smiling like an eight year old and working out car sex angles and positions. 

As soon as I parked she looked around and started unzipping my pants. She whipped my joint out, told me how pretty it was and started giving me the ILL top. Top 2 head that I’ve ever received in life. Head was so good that I accidentally hit the gas and revved that shit up to 6,500 RPM. If it was in gear I would’ve gone 0-60 and shot through the bushes. 

Unfortunately, as good as this head was, there was no hand movement involved (just dropped a major key for the ladies) therefore I could not come. I pulled her off of it and the conversation went like this. 

Me

This is fun. I’m about to grab us a hotel room, let’s go. 

Her

I can’t. I’m not sure. Well, I want to, but I don’t know. 

I peeped her being on the fence, so I kicked game on the comfort tip. 

Me

It’s no pressure. I have a long drive and I would rather leave in the morning. We can just chill and chop it up like we’ve been doing. 

Her

Like did you just come all the way out here for sex? I don’t want you to think I’m a hoe. 

I was becoming irritated, but I didn’t let it show. 

Me

Baby, it’s all good. We grown here. Sex is just a perk for me, I really rock with you. Nothing to worry about. 

Her

Malcolm, I can’t just have sex with someone because I want to. Like, we have to be in a relationship. 

Bruh, I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I couldn’t understand or comprehend it. I was befuddled, flabbergasted.  “Ok,” I replied. I drove around back to her car with the salty face plastered on. She asked me to walk her to the car and I obliged. Once again she sat down, looked around the lot and unzipped my pants to proceed. It was cool for a few seconds before I once again suggested a hotel room. She didn’t budge, so I requested she let me hit outside. 

Then she dropped the magic words. 

“Do you have a condom?” 


Hell yeah I did. You thought I was unprepared?  I came ready! My daddy always said stay ready so you ain’t gotta get ready. I pulled the extra thin Trojan Ecstasy out of my wallet and waved it in the air. She leaned her seat back, stood up looked around, and tucked those thumbs in the side of her jeans. Every man knows exactly what action I’m talking about. It’s almost as beautiful as when she lifts her hips up to take the panties off.  I saw 1/2 of that fat ass and she leaned over just enough so I could see how wet she was. Just as I stuck my tongue out, tucked my shirt under my chin and rolled the condom back, she snatched her pants up, turned around and said 

“Malcolm I can’t.” 

I tucked my meat and angrily zipped my pants up so fast that it startled her. 

Me

Alright shorty, I’m about to head back to Atlanta

Her

Wait, don’t go. We can hang out for a little while longer. 

Me

Where at? In your parent’s basement? Hell no. I’m getting gas and going home. 

Her

Well can I follow you to the gas station? 

Me

yeah it’s cool. 

I pumped my gas and grabbed two red bulls. She gave me hug and said that she hoped to see me again sometime soon. She text called me on the road and said “I feel like I owe you an arm and a leg.”  We had a short convo. 

I drove home 200 miles with wet balls and a condom on while listening to Luther Vandross. 
Dating is trash. Stay in your relationship unless it’s abusive. 

Until next wave. 

-International Malcolm 

The Friday Night Company. 2016. 

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