Love and Basketball. 

When a fight breaks out in public, most people panic because they’re not used to the circumstances. It’s fast, violent, chaotic, right? Let’s say a seasoned boxer is present. Where the people are frantic, the boxer is comfortable. He or she welcomes and enjoys the drama, because they’re familiar and prepared. 

Whenever you get into an argument with a woman understand that you aren’t having a conversation, but a high stakes bout, a true battle of wits and emotions. 

Therefore you must be the boxer. This is sport to you. 

A friend of mine recently told me that men and women play two totally different styles of Basketball. Basketball is obviously a metaphor for arguing, and I know I switched sports, but keep up with me, I’ll circle back around. 

Just like basketball, most arguments start with a tip off. The only difference is there’s no referee to throw the ball up, it kinda just floats around the house. Now whether the issue be something major or minor, one of the parties decides to jump up, swat the ball and crank it up. 

See, men are offensive all-stars with impressive scoring prowess. High flying, jump-shooting, flashy finishers. Our defense is subpar at best. Women, on the other hand, are trained or through experience have become A1 defenders. Lockdown, hand-checking, ball swatting, pass lane ballhawks. They can still play some offense, but not in the same fashion.

Look at men as Kyrie Irving and women as Kawahi Leonard. 

 So when a man is in an argument with a woman he naturally leans on his skill set and immediately tries to score first. Unfortunately, things usually don’t go this way because in attempt to score what looks like an easy basket, the woman blocks the shot. A nasty block too. I mean a face to face, in the paint, Shaquille O’Neal, into the stands, “Get that shit OUTTA here!” Block. 

 Now suddenly, the man has lost the momentum and is on defense, the weakest part of his game. Just like basketball, arguing is a game of runs. One wrong move and now the woman is up 15-0. Of course, the woman can’t take her win gracefully, oh no. She’s GLOATING. She has this sense of dominance because she’s up a few points so now she’s dunking, throwing alley oops, pulling 3’s from 40 feet out, displaying offense that you didn’t even know she was capable of. 

Careless. 

But wait! In her braggadocio she screwed up and turned the ball over. There’s hope! 

So this man has this turnover and is so exhausted and mentally defeated with the onslaught of offense that that he just endured, that he’s usually only able to make one or two baskets every couple of plays or so. The run that got him down early plagues his mind for the remainder of the game, negatively affecting his gameplay. 

There are no time outs in the game of arguing, so there’s very little room to alter momentum swing. If you aren’t mentally tough and good with your Rolodex, you may feel like you never even scored, regardless of great attempts at the basket. 

Vis a vis, women usually dominate these games even though men have better long term statistics and more All Star game appearances. Men don’t learn how to properly argue and diffuse situations until much later in life, where as women have been trained in the art of words and emotion since day 1.

 Game 2 in the series is where Men thrive. You know what I mean. The conversation that you have after wild, angry sex is Game 2. That discussion over wine in the living room, the consultation that occurs out at dinner while y’all wait for the food. Men prosper here because not only have we seen what the woman has to offer on the court, but we are also able to slow the game down exponentially and play fundamental, offensive, half court basketball. It allows our points to mean more and become increasingly effective. Winning is about changing our and challenging their style of play. Taking the rock out of their possession before they are able to blow you out the gym. 

Despite the circumstances, if the game means a lot, shoot until the clock hits 00:00, but understand this…

You could be sugar Ray Leonard or Roy jones Jr. on the offensive. All she is going to do is slip and dance around like Ali, or block, deflect and shoulder roll like Floyd. 

If you start an argument and expect to win you better have receipts, tax returns and a defense like the 2000 Ravens. 

The only way to win is Beat them at their own game, and even then, do you really win?

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