Sometimes, you have to make her remember why she fell in love with you.
There are moments in romance where we get entirely too comfortable. Different variables and factors are always major contributors. Whether it’s changes in schedule, a new job, family issues or demanding deadlines and requirements from work, the bottom line is that you aren’t as sharp as you once were. As a result, the familiarity level becomes too high. Sex locations and positions are the same. The restaurant that was once new and fresh and became “Ya’ll Spot” is nothing but a stop in the monotonous ass routine that you two call a relationship. She has seen you in the same outfits, with the same haircuts, wearing the same kicks and shit. The “Romeo” spirit inside you has died and you aren’t bringing flowers home as often you once did to or rubbing her feet and one of the worst thoughts that can brew in the mind of a woman begins to conjure…
“Oh my God, did I settle? Is this what I really want?”
If you make them second-guess it, women will think themselves into a shit-storm. So now, she starts to wander, and when women wander, like hungry dogs, niggas can smell it. We can smell vulnerability and desire like the incense burning throughout the Afrocentric store. If you’re lucky it’s just mental or visual drifting. She may check out an ex on social media or lust over a celebrity more than she normally would, you know, something miniscule. If shorty is able to communicate effectively, she will sit you down and try and have a conversation about her feelings. If she lacks basic communication skills, she’ll throw some vibes your way and if you’re in tune with your partner, you’ll pick up on the hints and tighten the fuck up.
In the event that her drifting has crossed over to the emotional or physical and you aren’t keen on hints, you are in for a world of trouble.
The last thing you want is for her to desire someone or something other than you. Most of the time the truth is that they want to experience new, fresh and exciting events and behaviors with and through you. As men, we’re often too opaque and disconnected to see this because deep down inside we believe that the work is done when we’ve bagged the shorty, when in reality that’s when the work starts.
Anyone can bag a honey. But can you keep her?
Fret not, gentlemen. The solution for correcting the monotony in your relationship is quite simple.
You gotta use that “IT” factor. It’s been called many things over the years: braggadocio, bravado, swag, flavor, juice and most recently… the sauce. Whatever that “IT” is, you need to tap into it in order to positively re-align your relationship on the right track.
Revert back to her likes and desires. Drop her a pair of diamond earrings in a box from her favorite take out spot. Research some new dates and adventures to keep things interesting. Get back in the gym! Get a haircut every week instead of every two! Cop a new scent for yourself! Randomly hit her off with some shopping money!
The key is to behave the way that you did when you had the hoes (which is a black American colloquialism for having many women, no disrespect) when you have a girl. You should be as sharp as a razor blade in every aspect, consistently as you can. Not to mention, you should be fucking her like Wesley Pipes after two lines of Columbia’s finest coca leaves or a broke goon fresh off a five-year bid because that’s how you keep the peace.
You have to light that fire in her and invigorate her spirit so she can remember “Damn, I love this nigga.”
Just hope that you don’t tap into the sauce when it’s too late because none of your efforts will be realized or acknowledged when she is too far-gone. The only sad part about this is the fact that even when you do get back on your shit, she still may cheat or leave your ass alone because people do what they want to do.
Unfortunately sometimes outside dick is necessary for a woman to realize what she really desires.
In closing, I’ll say this. What matters more to women than what you can do for them and how you fuck them is the way that you make them feel. If you can get it clicking on all three of those cylinders, she shouldn’t wander…. But she might.
Word to Issa Rae.
From the West End With Love…
-Malcolm J. Heaggans
The Friday Night Company, 2016 and Beyond.