The Art of Social Media Macking

 

974 million.

There are 974 million active users on Twitter. You know how many women that is?

You aren’t on there just for sports events, jokes and award shows.

You don’t monitor women on Instagram or Snapchat simply to gawk at them. You want an equal opportunity to get a shot off.

I got a whole thread in Rihanna and Keri Hilson’s DM’s hoping one of them bite.

C’mon now, you’re a man! A natural born hunter! If you see food in the wild that you desire, you go for it! (I mean that in the most non-rapey way possible. Please don’t dismantle me and imply that I have a misogynistic agenda and I encourage rape culture)

Let’s be real, ladies and gentlemen.

The main reasons that men engage in social media are to conduct business and mingle with other people, specifically WOMEN.

Just like anything else, there are rules to everything, including social media macking. You can’t run in there all willy-nilly taking wild, ill advised jump-shots with your eyes closed. That’s how you end up a screenshot on the timeline! There’s an art to this shit.

What people fail to recognize is that on social media you have an instant advantage in the pursuit of a woman…

Ease of access to information.

If you just pay attention to a woman who’s active on social media she will tell you everything you need to know in order to get the draws or be in a relationship. Twitter is a direct look into the brains of people. The shit is literally like thought storage. You can gather a lifetime’s worth of information about a person in a few minutes. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

Check these out.

MALCOLM AND ALKEY’S TRICKS TO WINNING

  • Never forget that women desire to be gamed.
  • DO NOT JUST JUMP IN THE DM’S WITHOUT DOING YOUR RESEARCH. This woman may be gay, a catfish, married, in a relationship or worse, bitter and hurt as fuck. Don’t let a pretty face or fat ass fool you, perform your due diligence.
  • Beware of women with Open DM’s. They often let lost souls FAIL and pile up in there as trophies to stroke their own egos. Anything worth having is worth working for, so you got to earn that follow back.
  • NEVER , EVER ASK FOR A FOLLOW BACK. Have some fucking dignity. This makes you look lazy and desperate, two things that women hate.
  • In order to get that follow back, make small talk and interact with her on the timeline. Make her laugh. Find common interests like musicians, film and food and play on those. Build a strong offense before you attack.
  • Keep yourself relevant with well placed likes and favorites. If she mentions her dream relationship or the perfect date, like it. If she references something that she desires in a man, like it. LIKE HER SELFIES. Don’t go overboard though, make sure to keep it subtle and cool. Dealing with women is all about balance, if you don’t give her enough attention your don’t give a fuck and if you do too much, you’re desperate. Find the sweet spot.
  • DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT, GET CAUGHT FLIRTING ON THE TIMELINE WITH A BUNCH OF WOMEN, ESPECIALLY HER FRIENDS. YOU NEVER HOE IN A SMALL VICINITY. I learned this early, the hard way. I’m still upset on some of the honey’s I missed out on because I decided to pull from half court with a bowling ball.
  • Stay away from sexual innuendo on the timeline. You only make sexual jokes or references if it’s her job to THOT down the TL, which means you probably don’t want to take her seriously anyway.
  • When you do get your chance in the DM’s, approach the proper way. Don’t go in there with the eye emoji, fucking speak. Be polite, not boring. Confident, not arrogant. Funny, not corny. If you execute properly, you should have a number in a reasonable amount of time.
  • Don’t be too available. Frolic on the TL while her message is on read in the DM. Make her understand that you got other shit going, just don’t be TOO distant.
  • Find a way to set yourself apart. Niggas are in the DM’s every day. What makes you special?
  • Search her Twitter name with the phrases, “I want, I like, I love, I wish, my favorite, etc.” so you can build an offensive game plan and possibly future dates. If you play your cards right you’ll have her thinking that you’re psychic.
  • If you get rejected, remember rule #1: “Keep it Player, no matter what.” You win some, you lose some, but if you handle it well you live to mack another day. Rejection is a part of the game, get used to it. Plus, women admire a nigga who can take a curve. It works in your favor.
  • Give her YOUR number first. Surefire way to know if she’s interested is if she hits you up.
  • In the rare event that she DM’s you first, be grateful, kind and courteous. It took a lot for her to do that.

Once numbers are given or exchanged and that first conversation transpires, the ball is in your court. I just hope that you’re as good on the Internet as you are off.

Pimpin’ ain’t dead, It just moved to the web.

From the West End and Mechanicsville With Love,

Malcolm J. Heaggans and ALKEY.

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