Don’t Be Rob Kardashian.

“I know you ain’t a pimp, but pimp remember what I taught you… Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart, these girls are smart 3 stacks, these girls are smart.”

  • André 3000

“International Player’s Anthem” Circa 2007

Either we’ve just witnessed a man’s life disintegrate to crumbs on social media, or we have ALL been set up for the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” Christmas special where Blacc Chyna enters the house tearfully, full of regret to collapse in Rob’s arms as the show closes. Personally, I think that it’s the former.

Before I get called a misogynist or some sort of fuckboi supporter, let’s take a few things into consideration. One, women will almost always side with a woman unless the evidence is irrefutable, and even then they lend the benefit of the doubt because they are filled with emotion. Two, men will almost always side with a man unless the evidence is undisputable, and even then we will lend the benefit of the doubt because we are stubborn creatures filled with foolish pride. Lastly, there are always three sides to a story: his side, her side and the truth.

Understood? Splendid.

“There are no pacts between lions and men.”

  • Achillies to Hector in “Troy”

 I use that quote to say this,

Rob ain’t built for Chyna.

Before I get into character flaws, ideologies and personality disorders, let me first acknowledge the notion that Chyna’s vagina HAS to be made out of some sort of golden alloy for her to be able to consistently trap and deal with rich men like this. Niggas will put themselves in very compromising situations for some good pussy, word to my man Preme.

Anyway, I digress.

Shorty was setting this man up for the scam from day 1. I’m an outsider and when I see Rob I see an isolated, (looking for attention and affection, lack of support system) overweight, (insecure, possible low self esteem, definite self-control issues aka he’s not disciplined enough to stop eating, let alone pull out) Mama’s boy looking for validation any way he can find it. He grew up rich and soft, without a biological father, his active father figure turned into a woman and he doesn’t have the luxury of extreme fame or fan base like his sisters.

The Man may as well wear a black tee with 3M letters that read “TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME!”

Most players and solid women saw the “juug” (an Atlanta colloquialism for scam or “play”) coming from a mile away. Initially, Chyna thought she secured a check by becoming pregnant by some B-List, Young Money backup talent by preying on his desire to be with a fly ass stripper. Then, he fell off and she realized that she needed something much more consistent to maintain her lifestyle. So not only did she spitefully infiltrate the family that her old nigga became apart of, she manipulated and altered the peace and structure to a point where the proverbial “Den Mother,” Kris Jenner, had to rectify the situation and make it look like it was some sort of joke the entire time.

With all the bullshit considered, you have to admit that she’s a clever one. The shit is almost admirable. This woman should sign up to be a double agent to infiltrate North Korea or some shit.

Her modus operandi is one of simplistic manner. It’s the same process that occurs in the strip club, just on a larger scale. Dancers put a little magic on you, make you feel like a man, stroke your ego and then run off with your $100, never to be seen again. First, she finds someone weak with little to no game, who she can control with that glitter-lined vagina. Then, she preys on their insecurities with false praise and encouragement, procures a pregnancy and gets the HELL ON, running down the street with the bag in tow like the Monopoly man. I just know she was helping Rob with his weight, cooking healthy meals, putting that pussy on him, calling him all types of “Kings” and “Daddies” and fooling that man into believing that he really had a solid woman.

She put on all types of airs and got into a relationship under false pretenses with ulterior motives just to achieve her goal. “NIGGAS DO THIS ALL THE TIME,” is what the women reading this post probably are saying. That’s true, but it isn’t right either.

I’ll close like this,

The game is the game and women like Chyna only respect that for what it is. It’s not about love and affection or even dick for her, just the bag. It’s only about being taken care of for women like that and Rob made a bad choice by letting her get that close to him. The sad thing is he doesn’t know any better. He grew up in a dream world with a television family. Chyna walking around looking like the winner, but in reality she has one baby by a lame and another baby by a sheep. If she was a real bitch, she would have a baby by an A-Lister or a Lion, but all those niggas know better, have game, or have a big homie with the sauce in their ear guiding them properly.

These women are smart and slick out here. Ya’ll boys keep both of your heads where they’re supposed to be and stay up. Don’t be Rob Kardashian.

From the West End with Love,

Malcolm J. Heaggans

The Friday Night Company, 2017.

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