Hot Pocket

Sometime back in 2015, my girlfriend Chunky and I took a break from one another. She obviously wanted to go and hoe, which was understandable and I was prematurely invested. I let her go and of course after less than a week in the jungle, she wanted to come back around.

Inherently, being the asshole that I was, I drug her through the fire and was purposely difficult and distant in order to teach her the lesson: “Malcolm is not to be fucked with.” I remained stern and sharp for two reasons. The first was to get my point across. The second? Well….

I’m a firm believer in “The Beacon Theory.” This theory states that when your soul starts to connect with another, anyone who is still connected to you FEELS this pull and makes a daring attempt to come back into your life. What you have to understand is Chunky and I had a new love, a love that was engulfing and suffocating. If you were talking to me, I was with her. If you followed my social media, you heard about or saw her. If we were out at a function, we were the “get a damn room” couple. In hindsight, I wish I would’ve known how much trouble these exuberant displays of affection would have garnered.

No sooner than she and I had sex for the first time, all of my former lovers started to come out the woodwork, but none were more adamant and persistent than Deli. Deli was, and still is a stone-cold-thick-ass-fox. Deli is this toasted vanilla complexion with these slanted almond eyes, right? A-cup tits, B on a good day, thick thighs and an ass kin to Roxy Reynolds’. Deli has perfectly placed tattoos, a smart-ass mouth and on top of all that? She was a freak. Not a play freak like the girls on the internet like to be, but a real “spit in my mouth, blindfold me, bust in my face and choke me until I pass out” freak.

Deli had been on my line 24/7 after she saw Chunky and I moving around the city. Of course I never gave her any static and remained honorable, but after the stunt that Chunky pulled? I started giving Deli crazy play and she bit. So one night, Deli comes over my crib right? I was under the impression that she and I would talk about a few things, drink a little bit and I MIGHT get some pussy. She shows up in those cheerleader sweat shorts with the waistband rolled down and a way too small wife beater on. We barely made it upstairs. By the time she was finished my waves were sweat out, her edges were damp and we laid there in two wet spots.

I reach over to check my phone, and Chunky has called and text me a total of 19 times. They always know, don’t they?

As soon as I try and call her, she calls me. With a devilish smile and a twinkle in her eye, Deli tells me to answer. I slide the cursor and Chunky flips out about me not answering and treating her like an option, referring to me as an ungrateful asshole and such. I keep the situation cool and flip it, telling her that she chose this. That she decided to up and leave and now she has to deal with the consequences of her actions. Then, I dropped the bomb….

CHAMP

“As a matter of fact, we not even together! You can’t check me!”

That pierced her. I heard her sniffling and choking up on the other end, her broken words tumbling slowly out of the earpiece. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” She hung up.

Before a twinge of humanity could surge through me, Deli pushes up on me, kisses my ear and licks my neck. “Don’t worry about her, I’m your bitch now.”

Now all of a sudden, I’m knee deep in this outrageous love spiral. Deli and I are fucking like wild animals. She’s stopping by before I have to go to work, Chic-Fil-A minis in tow, riding my dick until my knees were weak. We’re going on fly ass dates, she’s stopping my hand when I reach for my wallet and shit. I’m walking in spots running into my homies, they’re asking where Chunky is while Deli is with me, she’s laughing it off…playing cool.

It was marvelous, capital, spectacular! Everything was absolutely euphoric, but I couldn’t shake the sound of hearing Chunky cry. Plus, Chunky was hitting me with texts and calls that I was half ass responding to. As time went on, I started to notice that the only things that Deli and I had in common were our loves for food and sex. We were on opposite pages when it came to everything else, plus she has a child so there were times where we would be knee deep in lust and she would need to leave.

Unsurprisingly, this disconnect drove me back to Chunky who was yearning for me just as much as I was for her. She and I began to reconvene, laughing about little quirks and telling one another how much we missed the other. In response, I started to flake on Deli and keep my distance. Weaning off, so to speak.

So check this shit out. I’m leaving my job one night after giggling with Chunky all day via phone when I get the text from Deli.

“Are you by your job? We really need to talk.”

 At the time, I thought nothing of it. I figured she felt me pulling away and wanted to solidify her place in my life, until she pulled up. She hops in my car, gives me a hug and sits there like a sad puppy, staring at the floor.

 

CHAMP

What’s wrong love?

DELI

I have something to tell you, but promise me you won’t get mad.

CHAMP

Anything. What’s going on?

Silence.

CHAMP

Um-

DELI

Okay, break up with me right now so I can tell you.

CHAMP

What?!?!

DELI

I want you to break up with me now, so you can’t break up with me after I tell you.

CHAMP

All right, we breaking up. I don’t want to be with you anymore.

DELI

IT’S THAT EASY FOR YOU?!?

CHAMP
Deli, I’m not about to play with you. You need to tell me what’s up or get out my car.

Silence. Deli started to fiddle with her keys and look around.

DELI

I went to the doctor today because my period was late.

I immediately perked up as soon as my stomach hit the floor.

CHAMP

Okay. What did they say?

DELI

(sighing) My period came today, but I have chlamydia. You and I haven’t ever used a condom, so I know I gave it to you. I got it from my ex. He told me in an argument that he gave it to me before you and I started fooling around. I didn’t believe his lying ass, so I didn’t act on it… and now here we are.

I was stunned. Baffled, befuddled, flabbergasted. I bit my lip, scratched my nose and mustered the only words I knew how.

CHAMP

Deli, get the fuck out of my car.

She teared up and scurried away.

The next day I went to the doctor and sure enough, I had that thang. The doctor gave me some antibiotics, told me not to hit anything for a week and that because we caught it early, I should be cleared up in 3-5 days.

For the next week or so I was STIFF on Deli. Ignoring phone calls, tweets, reading texts and all that. Meanwhile, Chunky and I were closer than ever. We started spending time together again, rebuilding where we were at and preparing for the future. I was not trying to have sex with her, and she made it clear that I wasn’t getting any WHICH WAS COOL WITH ME. I had to make sure I was straight.

Finally, it happened. I was home cooling when Chunky hits me and tells me that she’s ready. I’ve been good, she missed me, and she was coming to put that pussy on me. Said she was leaving work, packing a bag and to expect her about midnight and FOR THE WEEKEND. Bet. I already had a fresh cut, so I hopped a shower, shaved my meat, put on that Burberry cologne and got ready for action.

11:15, my doorbell rings.

Chunky was never early, nor punctual so I was intrigued. I open the door and DELI barges in wearing a khaki colored trench coat and a full face of makeup. She comes in close for a hug and I can smell the alcohol on her. Pressed against me for a second or two, she grabs my manhood and I ease away from her. She steps back, opens the coat and drops it.

Black lace lingerie and heels.

I tell her that she has to go. We can’t do this. I’m not fucking with her. She ain’t hearing it. She presses on, playing on my weakness. She walks over and sits that ass on me, teasing me. NOPE. I wasn’t having it. I told her she had to go, I put her out. She barges out in tears, and I’ll never forget the tweet…

“So heartbroken rn.”

An hour later, Chunky shows up and we get it cracking. As it was time to slide in, I reached over to grab a condom. Chunky gets offended.

CHUNKY

What’s that for? We never used those! Do you think it’s because you need it? (emotional) Do you think it’s because I’ve been around while we were apart?

 

I smiled and reassured her that everything was okay. We did what we did and had a great weekend. I looked for texts from Deli, but they never came. I guess I broke her spirit with that rejection.

To this day I wonder if I made the right decision because over the next few years Chunky gave me HELL and no matter how hard I tried, Deli never let me touch her again.

Life is funny, ain’t it?

From The West End With Love

 

  • Malcolm Jamaal Heaggans

The Friday Night Company, 2017.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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