Rihanna vs. Jorja Smith

I love women.

I love how graceful they are, the fact that they can operate solely off of emotion, and the way that their scarves smell in the morning. I love them when they’re liars, and bitches, and when they sweat, and hog up the cover, and overreact, and—

I could go all day.

Due to being handsome, above 5’9,” and capable of growing a full beard—In women’s eyes, I qualify as one of the members of the male community who’s entitled to an opinion.

Not that I give a fuck. All niggas across the world should be free to speak their minds.

Nevertheless, today, I will be using my privilege to rate two of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen—

Rihanna and Jorja Smith.

Oh yeah, gentlemen, we’re going there.

Using five categories (face, body, sex appeal, potential, and style) we’re going to rate these titans head to head.


These two women are both drop dead gorgeous, but personally, this is an easy choice. Jorja has great facial structure: her lips are full, her forehead is big, her cheekbones are high, and she has those bright, yet apathetic eyes. She got that chin working against her though. Shorty got that Clark Kent, Crimson Chin vibe going—and that ain’t my speed. She looks like the bottom half of Batman’s face.

Rihanna, on the other hand, is THE forehead. Her eyes are deep, dark, and mysterious—like pools of jade and gold. Her nose is perfect for her face, her cupid’s bow is stunning, and her smile is dazzling.

Easy choice.

SCORE: 1-0 Rihanna



Jorja is thick as day-old grits, bro. Heavy thighs, fat ass, and absolutely succulent breasts. And a flat stomach too! I mean just astonishing. But, she’s only 5’3,” so is she thick or just compact?

At 5’9,” Rihanna is long and proportionate. She ain’t got the fattest ass, but she’s filled out quite nicely over the years. The titties are awesome, but as far as the pure body?

I’m gonna have to give it to the young buck.

SCORE: 1-1 1up! Tie game. (Rihanna has better feet)



Rihanna by a landslide, I’m not even about to play games with ya’ll. I’ve seen Rihanna bend over and bust it open like a can of biscuits in a fashion so profound that I’m sure strippers were impressed. She just has the look, that monster in her eyes. Imagine hitting that shit from the side and her looking at you with those green ass eyes talking that Bajan shit.

Ain’t nobody trying to hear that tea and biscuits ass accent while they dropping dick off. SAY ME HAFFI WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK.

I ain’t never jacked off to none of Jorja videos. Do with that what you will.
SCORE: 2-1 Rih Rih



In my personal opinion, Rihanna has reached her apex. She has 9 Grammys and is legendary in the world of makeup, fashion, and music. Unless that ass gets fatter after a baby, I don’t see Rihanna getting any better—just remaining solid as a diva.

Jorja Smith is 21, ladies and gentlemen. She hasn’t even reached her final form. She has a lot of room to grow in several aspects. Easy pick.

SCORE: 2-2 2up! Game 7!!



Man them tea and crumpets honeys cannot dress. Keep that shit over in LONDON we get fly in the USA. Rihanna is a style icon. I saw shorty with a heart-shaped Gucci fur coat on. She can make fucking pajamas look good. That’s some of the most fly shit I’ve ever seen in my life.

SCORE: Game over. 3-2, Rihanna.


These are personal opinions. Feel free to share, like, and comment.

From the We$t End With Love,


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