I Don’t Wanna Be a Player No More

After three shots of Remy VSOP, countless glasses of Makers Mark straight, two fine cigars, a full cup of Hennessy Priv and a day and a half of recovery, I’ve come to a realization. I don’t think I wanna be a player anymore. This past weekend, one of my best friends from college and his…

Making Sense of Women, Part 12,380

Women are simultaneously the most wonderful and most annoying entities to walk the planet. ACT I: DON’T BE SAM ROTHSTEIN, BUT DON’T BE LESTER EITHER.  “I spent almost $1,000 on this girl for her birthday just for her to bitch about a fucking uber.” Kid, I’ve been there and felt that. Long ago, my best friend…

Hot Pocket

Sometime back in 2015, my girlfriend Chunky and I took a break from one another. She obviously wanted to go and hoe, which was understandable and I was prematurely invested. I let her go and of course after less than a week in the jungle, she wanted to come back around. Inherently, being the asshole that…

The Truth About These Hoes: A Conversation With A Retired Pimp

I’m a pimp by blood, not relation. Before everyone reacts, I say that in the most humble and mild way possible. Did you miss me? Let me explain. I literally come from a long lineage of Players and Pimps. The pimps being My maternal Great-Grandfather, two great Uncles, Tiny and Boot (RIP), My paternal Grandfather,…

FLY OUT RULES

Listen. I understand that you’ve been on Facetime until your arm goes numb with this person. I understand that the two of you have been talking into the wee-hours of the morning and fighting over who’s going to hang up first every night for the last month. I know that this person seems different than…

How to Close at Home.

DISCLAIMER: YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO SEX. This article is the sequel to FIRST DATE WINNER. Dating is just like basketball and homeownership, the most difficult part of the entire process is closing. JANUARY 2017. You just had a spectacular date with a stunning woman. The energy and ambiance were wonderful, you two ended up…

First Date Winner

Happy New Year. Dating is a crapshoot, baby. By the end of the night, you could be blocked, reported, left on read, or waist deep in the yams thinking about baby names. It all depends on the energy and how well you play your cards. You never get a second chance to make a first…

All P*ssy is Not Created Equal

When I was a young lion cub, my father told me that sex would make me weak and incapacitate me if I let it. He said it would make me jaded, Influence my decision-making and leave me susceptible to manipulation. As a youth, I didn’t realize what he meant, but my entire world flipped when…

Don’t Be Rob Kardashian.

“I know you ain’t a pimp, but pimp remember what I taught you… Keep your heart 3 stacks, keep your heart, these girls are smart 3 stacks, these girls are smart.” André 3000 “International Player’s Anthem” Circa 2007 Either we’ve just witnessed a man’s life disintegrate to crumbs on social media, or we have ALL…

The Code

  “The Four Agreements,” “The Art of War” and “The 48 Laws of Power” are sensational pieces of literature, but the wording may be a little monotonous and complex for the particular demographic that I appeal to. You have to judge a man by his principles and the aspiring greats know that you cannot be…